The Causing of a Scene


Lily squeals, offended, and jerks herself out of reach, covering her butt with both hands.

Meanwhile, Summer’s gone livid. “Ernest, when I said apologize, I didn’t mean—”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I causing a scene?” Ernie grabs his stomach, makes a mouth with his fat, uses it to munch on the edge of the tabletop. “Am I insulting you? Nom-nom-nom!

I don’t watch a lot of gymnastics on TV (who does?), but I do know there’s this thing gymnasts do when they finish a routine. It’s called presenting, and it involves proudly raising one’s arms and chin in the direction of the judging panel. Sort of an athlete’s version of a curtsy, I guess. Summer and Lily do this now—only they’re not finishing a routine, they’re about to start one.

On Ernie.

And I’m pretty sure it’s going to involve way more punching and kicking than the sport has ever seen—

—wait, my shirt’s lifting itself.

Or, rather, Mini has climbed onto my shoulder, and is pulling my shirt up over my head in an attempt to get it off. Temporarily blinded, I grab at him, at my shirt, stumbling, twisting, wriggling, yelling: “Hey! Wait! Stop—”

Too late.

Off it comes.

There goes Mini, trailing my shirt behind him as he scurries across the pool deck and down the stairs.

There I am, standing bare-chested and bewildered as heads turn, mouths drop open, music stops.

Ernie’s shell-shocked.

Summer and Lily merely nod at my abdomen and smile appreciatively.

Get the book!

El Cassetto: a SuperMegaNet novel by Jesse Gordon

Get the other book!

Dookie, a cheesy horror novel by Jesse Gordon

Published by

Jesse Gordon

Geek. Writer. Supreme overlord of the SUPERMEGANET pseudoverse. Author of THE OATMEAL MAN, DOOKIE, and other such wasteful nonsense.