Writing Advice


Master Tip #1408: If you’re entering writing contests that charge entry fees, then you should also be buying lottery tickets, because if you play one and not the other, you’re a hypocrite.

This and much, much more in
The Jaded Indie Author Handbook
by Self-Published Author



People are talking about
The Jaded Indie Author Handbook:

“It’s unanimous: The Jaded Indie Author Handbook is the worst book in the world.” —Minus-5-Star Review

“Self-Published Author should pay us for reading his book.” —Mini Ivanovich, The Cream-Colored Coffee Cup #42

“Easily the worst book I’ve ever read—and I’ve read Dookie.” —Minus-5-Star Review

“Deleting this book from your Kindle Library isn’t enough; you have to use fire.” —Minus-5-Star Review

“About the only thing Author has going for him with The Jaded Indie Author Handbook is the fact that he hasn’t sold a single copy.” —The Angelican

“Riveting! A real page-turner!” —Sarcasm Weekly

“You won’t make it past page five.” —Minus-5-Star Review

The Jaded Indie Author Handbook fails on so many levels, it’s a wonder the author even figured out how to self-publish it on Amazon in the first place.” —The Daily Angel

“Quite possibly the only ebook in the world that will infect your Kindle and/or phone with the actual herpes virus.” —Schrodinger’s Couch

“Author is ruining independent publishing for everyone.” —Minus-5-Star Review

“Saying this book offended you is like seeing the date on a can of expired ravioli and eating it anyway.” —Minus-5-Star Review

The Jaded Indie Author Handbook adds absolutely nothing of value to the self-help genre.” —Minus-5-Star Review

“I’d say Self-Published Author is the Uwe Ball of the literary world, but that would be an insult to Uwe Ball.” —Minus-5-Star Review


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Thanks for reading!

Dookie, a cheesy horror novel by Jesse Gordon

Published by

Jesse Gordon

Geek. Writer. Supreme overlord of the SUPERMEGANET pseudoverse. Author of THE OATMEAL MAN, DOOKIE, and other such wasteful nonsense.