Future Prophecy


While waiting for YouTube ad 1 of 3 to finish playing so that I can get the fiack back to watching the actual video I came here for, it occurs to me that if—many years from now, mind you—me and the gang spawn children of our own, and if those children happen to be best friends, this is the kind of shit you’re going to overhear them talking about:

“Hey, Theodora.”

“Hey, Ernestina. What’s up?”

“The Kounicova octuplets have a couple hours to kill while their trailer gets fumigated for silversharks. They hit me up for a round of Möbius Strip Poker, but my strip’s broken. Can we download to your place instead?”

“Yeah, but we’ll have to wait until the living room’s free.”

“Why? What the hell’s going on in your living room?”

“My parents are watching YouTube.”

“What’s YouTube?”

“It’s where old people go to watch advertisements on the Internet.”

“What’s the Internet?”

“It’s where old people swapped data before the singularity.”

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Published by

Jesse Gordon

Geek. Writer. Supreme overlord of the SUPERMEGANET pseudoverse. Author of THE OATMEAL MAN, DOOKIE, and other such wasteful nonsense.